This is a story I shared on Facebook on March 9, 2009. I thought I would revisit it since it still makes me chuckle to this day. It details some of the "joys" of being a student-midwife. Enjoy!
Se Habla Espanol? Okay, so clinicals have been going great. Everyday I get a little more confident and am becoming more independent in patient care. I have even tackled a little Spanglish to get me by in my return OB visits until the interpreter arrives. Today I walked confidently into a patient room who was about 24 weeks pregnant. " Hola! Me amo Sarah, student pardenta." (whatever that means). "Como est da?" (blank look from patient) "Mi ablo un poquito Espanol" (which means i don't know what the hell i just said) Unfazed by the continued silence by my patient, I continue with.."dolor?, contraciones? sanguina bahina? aqua bahina?, mucho mueve bebe?" all the while waving my hands and arms wildly as if to illustrate what I am trying convey. (for those of you who are lost, i was asking if she had pain, contractions, loss of amniotic fluid or bleeding from down there, and if baby was moving a lot) The patient was silent and looked slightly scared, look toward the door a few times as if planning to escape..then she spoke softly, "Please, Arabic." Well, that will teach me to be so confident...
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
My midwife..
Ten years ago today, I gave birth to Annabelle. It was a lovely experience and looking back now through a new midwife's eyes, I realize how incredibly lucky I was to have Anne Peacock, CNM at my side...and how she may have had an angel on her shoulder the morning of Annabelle's birth.
At the time, I was a nursing student finishing my capstone and getting ready to graduate. Annabelle was due on July 13th, but obviously had plans of her own. The night of June 22nd I began having sublte back pains. I had a gallbladder attack the year before and thought that I was getting ready to have another. I paged Anne and when she called me back she just told me to take a warm bath, drink lots of water and try to go to sleep. What?! But what of my impending gallbladder attack? She just reassured me that she didn't think it was my gallbladder and told me if I felt fine in the morning to come into work. You see, I was a nursing assistant at the University of Iowa OB/GYN clinic. I worked mostly with the physicians, as the managers thought that the midwives could do their own BPs, urines and weights. Every now and then, I would get sent to assist the midwives and I was in heaven!
So the next morning, I went to see Anne before my shift started. I was still having those nagging back pains, though I was able to sleep the night before. With a little gleam in her eye, Anne asked me if they were coming and going, hmmm...they were coming and going about every 10 minutes. Anne checked my cervix (which I thought was odd, because I was sure my gallbladder was spasming) and told me to go about my day. So I did.. As the day wore on I noticed that once in awhile I would have to stop to think about the pain as they sometimes took my breath away. This day I was a student, so my mentor Ann Freyenberger put me on a the monitor for a little NST during our lunch break. Wow! I was having contractions and I didn't even know! At the end of my shift, Anne checked me again and told me I was 2/80/0, to go home, eat and sleep. She said she thought the would see me sometime that weekend (it was Friday, June 23rd). When Adam came to get me and have dinner with me before going back to work, I told him what Anne said but he didn't seem too convinced. My contractions were still very mild and I was so sleepy. I didn't feel like eating so instead fell asleep. At 8pm, I was awakened by the most incredbile contractions, at 1030 we went to the hospital. My labor was pretty typical, I was cranky, didn't want anyone to speak. What I remember is Anne rubbing my legs and telling me that I was doing so good, wow..I sure didn't feel that way. I was complete at 1230 and started pushing. Annabelle was born at 1:04..into Anne's waiting hands.
It's what happened afterward, that gives me pause today. I remember the labor nurse searching for my fundus and rubbing continuously and Anne mumbling something about "Is it firming?" I saw the labor nurse shake her head no, and then Anne asked for some meds and I recieved two shots..now I know those were probably Pitocin and Methergine. Then Anne warned me of what she was doing next..what I know now as bimanual compression. OUCH! I did not have an epidural, so I felt everything. I realize now as a new midwife that my situation must have been dire and that I must have been hemorrhaging pretty bad for her to do that. She was so calm throughout, that I didn't realize how serious my situation could have been.
So today, on the ten year anniversary to my daughter's birth I would like to thank Anne Peacock, CNM for taking such incredible care of me before, during and especially after and for perhaps saving my life..so that I could be the Mommy that I dreamed of being.
At the time, I was a nursing student finishing my capstone and getting ready to graduate. Annabelle was due on July 13th, but obviously had plans of her own. The night of June 22nd I began having sublte back pains. I had a gallbladder attack the year before and thought that I was getting ready to have another. I paged Anne and when she called me back she just told me to take a warm bath, drink lots of water and try to go to sleep. What?! But what of my impending gallbladder attack? She just reassured me that she didn't think it was my gallbladder and told me if I felt fine in the morning to come into work. You see, I was a nursing assistant at the University of Iowa OB/GYN clinic. I worked mostly with the physicians, as the managers thought that the midwives could do their own BPs, urines and weights. Every now and then, I would get sent to assist the midwives and I was in heaven!
So the next morning, I went to see Anne before my shift started. I was still having those nagging back pains, though I was able to sleep the night before. With a little gleam in her eye, Anne asked me if they were coming and going, hmmm...they were coming and going about every 10 minutes. Anne checked my cervix (which I thought was odd, because I was sure my gallbladder was spasming) and told me to go about my day. So I did.. As the day wore on I noticed that once in awhile I would have to stop to think about the pain as they sometimes took my breath away. This day I was a student, so my mentor Ann Freyenberger put me on a the monitor for a little NST during our lunch break. Wow! I was having contractions and I didn't even know! At the end of my shift, Anne checked me again and told me I was 2/80/0, to go home, eat and sleep. She said she thought the would see me sometime that weekend (it was Friday, June 23rd). When Adam came to get me and have dinner with me before going back to work, I told him what Anne said but he didn't seem too convinced. My contractions were still very mild and I was so sleepy. I didn't feel like eating so instead fell asleep. At 8pm, I was awakened by the most incredbile contractions, at 1030 we went to the hospital. My labor was pretty typical, I was cranky, didn't want anyone to speak. What I remember is Anne rubbing my legs and telling me that I was doing so good, wow..I sure didn't feel that way. I was complete at 1230 and started pushing. Annabelle was born at 1:04..into Anne's waiting hands.
It's what happened afterward, that gives me pause today. I remember the labor nurse searching for my fundus and rubbing continuously and Anne mumbling something about "Is it firming?" I saw the labor nurse shake her head no, and then Anne asked for some meds and I recieved two shots..now I know those were probably Pitocin and Methergine. Then Anne warned me of what she was doing next..what I know now as bimanual compression. OUCH! I did not have an epidural, so I felt everything. I realize now as a new midwife that my situation must have been dire and that I must have been hemorrhaging pretty bad for her to do that. She was so calm throughout, that I didn't realize how serious my situation could have been.
So today, on the ten year anniversary to my daughter's birth I would like to thank Anne Peacock, CNM for taking such incredible care of me before, during and especially after and for perhaps saving my life..so that I could be the Mommy that I dreamed of being.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
In limbo...
As many of you may know I have been moonlighting as a labor nurse while waiting for my new job to start. While I enjoy (mostly) the work I am doing, I find myself struggling at times between my "identities" as you will... One of the reasons I quit my previous job as a labor nurse was so that I could fully immerse myself into the role of practitioner. It's not as easy of a transition as some would think. The first task was to take charge of the labor room, being able to give orders to a labor nurse was difficult for me as I identified with them and their work. At first, I would back down or agree when a labor nurse suggested something or was not doing what I had asked for. As a student midwife, I was in the room more than perhaps some nurses were comfortable with and would find myself adjusting monitors and messing with iv's..sometimes viewed as intrusive by the nurses. I found it hard not to be on the unit staring at the strip myself rather than trusting the labor nurses to report back to me their findings. The enormity of my responsibility was heavy on my shoulders and I wanted to be sure everything was done right. It wasn't until someone pointed out to me that I am/was a labor nurse too, wouldn't I be offended if the practitioner continuously double checked my work? Hmmm...that gave me pause. Now here I am (temporarily) on the other side of the labor bed again...not as in charge as I once was and that has been difficult for many reasons. I was just beginning to develop my style of education and preparing my patients for their birth experiences, their options and risk/benefits of procedures..now I am under someone else's style and method of care. Recently, I had a patient who had spontaneously ruptured the day before she presented (she thinks) and presented for rest and then pitocin augmentation. The patient wanted to know if I thought she could still labor spontaneously overnight as she wanted to try for a natural childbirth. I told her that it was possible as she was having a few contractions that were palpating moderately. I reported off to the next oncoming staff and told her of my findings. She scoffed at me and pretty much told me how incredibly wrong I was...my midwife soul was wounded. But then, on my long drive home I thought about it..that nurse while having many more years of labor experience than I lacks what I think is vital to every woman..the power of belief. Belief in her body, belief in birth, belief in the power of positive thinking. I have seen a woman go into labor spontaneously after many hours of being ruptured and I felt sorry for this nurse for perhaps not having the opportunity to experience such an amazing thing. So here I stand at the crossroads teetering between on career and another. I have learned that labor nurses work incredibly hard and that midwives are incredibly needed.
Monday, June 7, 2010
One more step..
Okay, I know I'm a dork, but this makes me feel pretty happy. My name on a business card...how cool is that?
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
The road less traveled by..
One of my all time favorite poems is "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. I have it memorized and in fact, two years ago taught it to Annabelle so she could recite it at her school talent show. She rocked it and I was ever so proud. Over the years the poem has come to mean more to me than ever. Part of the poem describes staring down a fork in the road and trying to decide which path to take. The road not taken is not necessarily a road not taken by everyone, but the road not taken by you. It's about taking chances and seeing where it will get you. This resonated with me last fall when I was offered a chance to teach for two universities. By taking this job I would be leaving a comfort zone, learning a new job all while being a student myself. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. Through teaching I was reminded of the basic fundamentals of nursing, perhaps new and aggravating to my students, but somehow the basics grounded me and pushed me forward. I got to see birth and adore new babies through their eyes and it was exhilarating! This teaching gig also made me a constant at the hospital I am about to become a part of. I would often get asked which hat I was hearing that day, student or instructor? Somedays I did both..taught for the alloted hours and then when my students were gone would often "switch hats" to become the student once again. This allowed me to get to know many of the staff and physicians..and allow for many late night conversations at the nurses' station, that I believe led me to where I am now and where I am going. I don't believe any of this happened by luck or chance, I do believe it was a God thing. I also believe that good things can come by taking the road less traveled by...
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Why blog?
Anyone who knows me well will most likely be suprised that I am blogging. There are many reasons why I've decided to do this now, one of which includes insight. As a student, I pored over blogs, websites and anything else I could to help me in my journey through school and now as I am entering my first job as a newly certified nurse-midwife. While my focus will be mostly my midwife adventures, obviously while perserving the privacy of all my patients, I will include some Darby family fun. So here it goes...
While in school, I couldn't wait to get out into the real world and begin practicing midwifery. Though I do realize I still have so much to learn and will always be learning, I took for granted the safety net and support system that being a student provided. In fact, the first few days after classes were officially over, I cried. A lot. After talking it over with a few people, I came to realize that being a student-midwife had become my identity. And that identity was gone. I felt lost and a little betrayed that I was being released so seemingly easily into the professional world. It took me a few days of grieving to realize that I was ready and was thankful that my instructors and mentors thought so too. I signed up to take the boards as quickly as I could and began to study...
I became official on May 21st, 2010. Sarah Darby, CNM.
While in school, I couldn't wait to get out into the real world and begin practicing midwifery. Though I do realize I still have so much to learn and will always be learning, I took for granted the safety net and support system that being a student provided. In fact, the first few days after classes were officially over, I cried. A lot. After talking it over with a few people, I came to realize that being a student-midwife had become my identity. And that identity was gone. I felt lost and a little betrayed that I was being released so seemingly easily into the professional world. It took me a few days of grieving to realize that I was ready and was thankful that my instructors and mentors thought so too. I signed up to take the boards as quickly as I could and began to study...
I became official on May 21st, 2010. Sarah Darby, CNM.
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