Saturday, September 18, 2010

Yes, but what does that mean?

Ah, a common phrase that often goes through my brain while at work. Yes...well because I'm usually a very agreeable person. Yes..well because I don't know what else to say and don't want to look stupid. Yes..because that's the only answer I have right now and I need to go look up the answer. Confused? Well, good because sometimes so am I.

Yes, but what does that mean? I often think this when a lab result shows up on my computer desktop at work. If you happen to be at my office and I'm staring at my computer screen and not, I'm not bored or trying to sleep with my eyes open. I'm thinking..HARD. I am most likely looking at an abnormal result and am deciding my plan of care and treatment. Fortunately, that phrase is slowly dwindling and while I still count on my fellow practitioners as resources, I am finding that I know what "that" means. Now if only I can get rid of that twisted, nauseated feeling I get in my gut whenever the abnormal result first appears...

Yes, but what does that mean? Yep, sometimes you have to spell it out for me. That's what I was thinking when I was told this last week that I have temporary privileges at both OPRMC and SMMC. Until now, my call days have consisted of me simply answering calls and sending patients in if needed. I was not able to admit patients or make rounds independently. Now apparently, and yes, I had to ask for clarification...I am able to admit midwife patients, give orders and make postpartum rounds. WOW. Are you kidding me? I have waited so long to get to this point that it hardly seems real. I will still need to be proctored through more deliveries as I have only had the opportunity to catch two babies so far. But that's okay with me. Somedays I am suprised by the willingness to let me triage phone calls and make rounds. I have been treated like a trusted colleague since beginning with this practice and sometimes it unnerves me but at the same time it's so invigorating!

Yes, but what does that mean? There it is again that stupid phrase. I was thinking it this morning as I rounded on two postpartum patients by myself this morning. Nope, I wasn't thinking it while seeing the patient or viewing the chart. I was thinking it when I couldn't log into the computer after trying for half an hour and under the curious stares of the nursing staff. You know when you are trying to be inconspicuous and the computer makes that obnoxious sound..well I drew some attention. So much for looking competent, when I had to call my Dr. who was fortunately rounding on surgical patients, to come log me in... Do I take that as an immediate sign of failure or just a bump in the road? That remains to be seen..

So here I sit, my first weekend of call and darn it if everytime that beeper goes off and a message comes across the screen that I don't think..yes, but what does that mean?

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